Lets Make a Harry Potter Story! :O
by Ginger Grande
Summary: Written 4 years ago by 4 different people, I decided to upload it in celebration of the last movie. Harry is the master of wangs and he and his friends go on sexy adventures. Don't read if you're srs. This was made by 13/14 year olds. ITS NOT ART
1. CH 1

Once upon a time, there was a young boy by the name of Harry Potter. And boy does he know how to use his wang. He grew up in a world where people looked up to him as the master of all wangs. By the time he was eleven he could do lots of magic with his wang. But wait! There was one other boy who claimed to use his wang better than Harry-and his name was Draco Malfoy….

Harry soon fell in love with Cho Chang, but she had no interest in the master of all wangs. While attending school at Hogwangs, Hermione taught him more special skills. Harry's favourite class is Defence Against the Dark Arts because he got to use his wang a lot. Professor Snape had yearned to teach the class for ages, since you get to use your wang the most in said class.

He hated Harry's father because he molested Snape back then and stole Lily, and had Harry. Every night Harry would practice with his wang to get stronger. His worst enemy is Lord Voldemort.

One day Voldemort cornered Harry in a room filled with mirrors, and he had his wang out, pointing it at Harry. Harry pulled out his long brown wang and pointed right back at him.

"You…" Voldemort groaned.

"You're still alive"

Harry shuddered. He knew his wang wouldn't stand a chance against Voldemort's, but he wouldn't back down now.

"Expelliarmus!"

And whoosh! Voldemort's clothes flew off. Voldemort growled and did the same to Harry.

"Expelliarmus!"

They kept repeating the spell, and clothing flew everywhere.

As the last piece of cloth flew off, they stood there naked and shaking. Voldemort finally thrust his wang at harry.

"AHH!"

Harry yelled. He screamed in pain as Voldemort repeated the action. Harry couldn't take any more of it. Then boom! From the end of his wang burst silvery white stuff as he thrusted it at Voldemort.


	2. HARRY POTTER CHAP 2

Harry woke up to find that he was in the hospital wing. It was all like a dream. Madame Pomfrey entered and said:

"Harry, your wang was damaged, but we managed to fix it. Try not to work it too hard for a while."

Harry grumbled "…Great…"

He flicked it once…didn't work. Madame Pomfrey left, and Ron and Hermione came in.

"Harry! Are you all right?" Hermione asked as Ron the nudist streaked around the hospital wing.

"I'm not too good, my wang was damaged. It doesn't seem to work very good any more…I want to test it on Hermione."

Harry looked at her. Without a word Ron flicked his wang and Hermione's clothes slipped off.

"I'll leave you two alone" he smiled. "Tell me about it later."

As Ron cleared the door he could hear indecent noises coming from the room. Little did Harry and Hermione know that none other than Draco Malfoy was under the bed.

*Fap fap fap*

"WTF is that noise?" Harry asked. "It totally ruined my mood!"

"WAHAHA Potter…that was me!" Draco announced, coming out from under the bed. He had no pants on. Hermione screamed.

Outside, Ron the nudist was thinking "OMG, WTF are they doing in there?"

Anyways, it sounded like fun so he burst into the room only to fin Harry and Draco wangs in hand, in a duel.

"EN GUARD!" Ron shouted, clutching his wang too!

"HAH! MINE'S BIGGER BITCHES!"

Ron was then caught off guard when Draco began to passionately kiss him. Harry, who had caught both of them off guard, attacked them with his wang.

In the heat of the fight, Hermione stood aside feeling left out.

"Gee, I sure wish I had a wang.." she sighed.

All of a sudden Dumblewhore, the headmaster of Hogwangs, appeared.

"You can use mine." he said.

"But I can't even see yours.." Hermione the whore sighed.

Dumblewhore pulled out his Ipod and started to watch pr0n, then his wang was supersized!

"No wonder you're the headmaster…WOW!" Harry exclaimed to Dumblewhore.

The younger boys started to crowd around their headmaster. Hermione was on the nurses bed. All of a sudden, she combusted.


	3. Ch 3

Harry, Ron and Draco had been too busy admiring Dumblewhore's supersized wang to notice Hermione.

It was dinner time before they knew it. They all departed back to the main hall, leaving what was left of Hermione's body in the room.

"Now who will I practice using my wang on?" Harry grumbled.

"Me." Draco replied.

"No! Thats the best friend's job, and I'm his best friend." Ron said.

"Mines bigger!" Ron again yelled.

Cho Chang passed by Harry and winked at him. He couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Slut." Draco and Ron muttered.

*BOOM!*

There was a huge explosion, and Cho too combusted.

"OH MY GOD!" They heard a cry from the dining hall.

Neville came running out in panic.

"All the girls in Hogwangs are blowing up!"

From inside the hall, someone else screamed "Its a curse!"

Then more explosions were heard.

"Yay! My sister can die!" Ron laughed.

All of a sudden, Dumblewhore ran out of his office.

"What is the meaning of this? I was in my office practicing my wang skills with the school nurse when she suddenly exploded!"

Soon enough the school was girl-free, but one…Pansy, Draco's girlfriend.

"WTF, why aren't you dead!" Draco said, confused.

"….I'm actually a boy…my name is Michael Jackson." He said.

There was a scream "We're stuck in here with a pedo!"

It was true. All the doors in Hogwangs were magically locked. Meanwhile Draco was muttering things like "…and I made out with HIM."

Dumblewhore stepped up and declared "Aright MJ, I challenge you to a wang battle-if I win, you leave Hogwangs. If you win however, I'll give you the title as Headmaster."

"OK, lets fight!" Mj ripped his pants off and reached for his wang. He couldn't find it, it hadn't been used in a long time.

"Shit!" MJ said.

Then he took out his cell phone and dialed the plastic surgeons. Within two minutes Fred and George appeared. MJ smiled at Dumblewhore. The twins magically fixed MJ a wang. The battle was on. It was fierce, hawt, and secksi.

In the end, Dumblewhore lost.

"Nooooo!" He screamed in pain.

"What the hell!" Ron shouted at his brothers.

And so, MJ became the new Headmaster of Hogwangs...


	4. Chap 4

"I thought he was in Azkaban …" Harry muttered as they headed for BDSM class (MJ had switched all their classes).

"No, they let him out cause' he raped all the dementors and disco danced." Ron replied.

MJ had cloned himself to replace all their combusted women teachers. As the boys headed for BDSM class they remembered Professor Snape was in charge of it and groaned.

"Silence! I know you're all pretty excited, I know I am." Snape hissed.

"Now I need a volunteer…ahh, you Potter, you're fat cheeks make me horny"

Harry slowly walked up to the front of the classroom. Snape already had his wang out.

"Now, shall we start with the handcuffs?" Snape said, magically conjuring a pair of silver handcuffs. Harry was also magically pinned in a butt-up position on Snape's table.

"OK boys" He said to the class "Pick a partner and do the same thing, and if there aren't enough, a group of three is fine."

"Now,"

Snape summoned a whip and magical chains wrapped around him and Harry. The class did as they were told, though quite hesitantly.

"I'M not the one who's gonna get handcuffed!"

Draco and Ron were arguing over the cuffs.

"Well, mines bigger!" Ron shouted.

"No! My father tells me that mine is! He says all Weasleys don't have a wang!" Draco yelled.

"That is so not true you whore!" Ron screamed and slapped Draco. Draco slapped Ron back. They spontaneously began making out.

"Weasley! Malfoy!" Snape snapped.

"If we can begin the lesson now…"

BDSM class to be the most funnest class ever. Malfoy made Ron bend over and Snape continued his lesson.

"And then you take your wang and-"

Suddenly Sonic the Hedgehog burst in.


	5. Chp 5

Sonic screamed at Snape. "Face the wrath of my super molestation powers!"

Snape screamed "Not again!"

Sonic sneered.

"I know you want it, bend down Snape!"

Just as Snape was about to be molested MJ came on the announcements.

"I want all the boys in the school to come down to the main hall for a very special assembly."

"I wonder what he wants…"

Ron scratched his naked ass.

As the men and boys of the school piled down Neville was found making out with Seamus. Over by the Slytherins they were having a gay orgy.

Draco came skipping in only wearing pink spandex short that say "Gay boy". He was followed by Crabbe and Goyle who were getting touchy with each other.

Everybody sat down as MJ entered.

"Okay school, pick your bitches."

MJ grabbed Dumblewhore.

"I don't want to!" Harry screeched. "I don't like you!"

Harry quickly pulled out his wang and began waving it in MJ's general direction.

Suddenly Sonic the hedgehog ran up and grabbed MJ and then ran away. The whole school fell silent. Draco liked MJ better than their old headmaster.

"Go get MJ back!" Draco commanded, forcing Crabbe and Goyle to stop making out. Crabbe and Goyle ignored him.

Voldemort appeared.

"Come Draco," he said, holding out his hand "Let's go find him together. you're father and I make an interesting couple you see. I am your second father! You're mom was just a lap dancer we picked up at a strip club."

Draco hugged him.

"Daddy!"

Together they flew off in search of MJ.


	6. Ch 6 Chapter sixsex

"What the hell?"

Harry and the others stood, wide-eyed, gawking at the window Draco and Voldemort had escaped through.

"Ah well" Ron shrugged "Lets have sex."

As soon as Ron said that all the Hogwangs girls reappeared.

"Aw, crap!" Fred muttered.

"Ooohh!" George said. "More bewbs!"

George started humping every girl he saw while Fred walked away. He had enjoyed being butt-buddies with George. But now the girls were back.

While walking through the corridor, Snape bumped into Hermione, who'd just popped back.

"My, my, looking nice."

Snape pointed his wang at Hermione. Hermione giggled.

"Your wang is non-existent!"

Snape looked down. She was right, his wang had fallen off.

Then all of a sudden Snape get a huge bulge in his belly. He was pregnant with Voldemort's baby. He went into labour.

"Ahhh!"

The baby popped out. It was ugly. He crawled over to Hermione and tried to molest her.

"Eww!" Hermione screeched, kicking the ugly creature off her leg.

Ron ran by, his wang substantially larger than before, distracting the hideous monster baby long enough for Hermione to escape.

But it was too late, Voldemort had returned to gather the rest of his bitches. He pushed Hermione down to the floor, looking toward Snape and his child.

"My son!" Voldemort cried, walking over to the abomination.

"I shall call him mini-me, and he shall be my mini-me. Muhahahaha!"

Ron helped Hermione up and ran to Voldemort. But Voldemort rubbed his buttcheeks together, making massive friction, creating a fire on his ass, then he farted and blew fireballs towards Ron. Luckily, Ron was a nudist, so his wang was easy to access. With a flick of it he quickly diverted the fireball. It hit Hermione. He quickly flicked it again and Voldemort's wang fell off. Rons wang grew a little bigger.

"Wahahaha! I'll be the wang lord!" Ron laughed as Voldemort ran away.

Ron's enlarged wang turned Hermione on.

"Come on Ron, show me your wang skills."

And that's how Ron found out Hermione was a hermaphrodite.


	7. Chapter 7

"Man, you're good." Sighed Hermione, gasping for breath.

"Only for you, baby." Ron replied.

They had just finished having wild sex, and Ron's wang was burning with joy. All of a sudden, Hermione started dancing.

"Why are you dancing?" Ron asked, failing to remember he had AIDS.

"You gave me AIDS! They are eating my VAG!"

"Yo sup?" Harry said, finally showing up. "I was busy having a threesome-WTF? Ron, you cheating slut!" Harry cried out.

"It's not how it looks!" Ron put his manthong back on.

"Since when do you wear manthongs? I thought you were a nudist!" Hermione said.

"And I thought you were a girl." Ron replied, walking away.

"Hermione!" Harry cried. "How could you do this to me? I thought we were hermaphrodite lovers forever!"

**********Meanwhile*******

"Where are we?" Draco asked as they entered a dark building.

"In a gay bar." Voldemort replied.

The sign above them stated 'The Magical STD'.

" I always come here, I'm a regular." Voldemort said. "And this is where I met your father-Hey look, there he is!" Voldemort waved to Lucius.

"Father?" Draco blinked. "So THIS is where you were when you say you have business to take care of-Huh?" Draco looked at Fred, who was sitting at the bar by himself being emo.

"Hey Weasley! My father says Weasleys can't go to gay bars!"

"Shaddap, Malfoy." Fred growled and pulled Draco in for an intimate kiss.

"Eww! Cooties!" Malfoy pulled away. "Hey, you could still be useful to me…I need you to help me find MJ." Draco commanded.

Just as he said that he heard a horrible screeching of "I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE GAY BAARR!"

"Hey look," Fred pointed to the owner of the voice. "There he is. Now do I get a reward?"

Sure enough, MJ, in a corner with Sonic, surrounded by a bunch of homosexuals and transvestites.

Draco ran up to MJ, who was thrusting his wang everywhere.

"Headmaster!" He hugged MJ. But Neville jumped out from nowhere. "He's my dad!"


	8. Chp 8

Lucius stepped up to Malfoy.

"My boy, MJ isn't really a human. Voldemort and I accidentally created him one night when we were experimenting with our wangs. He's nobodies father.

All of a sudden Hermione appeared and began dancing (It was a side effect of the AIDS). MJ's brain took it as a challenge, so he began dancing too, until his nose fell off.

"No! Stop dancing!" Voldemort screamed.

"More grind, less dance!" Fred cheered.

"My eyes! My eyes!" Voldemort covered his eyes with his hands.

Hermione's body couldn't stand the side effects and her legs fell off.

"Okay, shows over!" Ron shouted.

But that wasn't true, Hermione's legs then rocket-launched to Voldemort. He dodged them, but they turned around and one kicks him in the ass while the other goes around, kicking him in the balls. Voldemort fell to the floor, holding his privates. Ouch! This turned on Draco, Lucius, and Ron, who started to bukkake all over him while hes still rolling on the floor in agony.

Then MJ runs towards Voldemort and jumps up, shoving his peanut, I mean penis, in his mouth, choking Voldemort.

"Oh no, he's malfunctioning!" Shouts Lucius.

But before he could stop them, all Hermione's AIDS march up and take Voldemort to the leader of the AIDS, Ronald McDonald! You see, Ronald puts AIDS in his burgers, that's how ninety percent of the world's population gets AIDS.

"What do you want!" Yells Draco.

But before he could finish, the AIDS and Voldemort were gone. Draco started to cry, but Hermione was thrilled.

"Yay! I don't have aids anymore!"

Fred's head suddenly exploded, he had gotten over-excited. Ron flicked his wang and Fred's lifeless wang fell off. Ron's wang deflated a little bit.

"No!" He screamed.

"Ah-ha!" Hermione said.

"By using the wangs of dead people we can defeat Ron's superiority complex!"

So Hermione went off in search of dead people.


	9. Chp 9

Everyone was so busy doing other things that they never noticed Voldemort's disappearance. No one but Harry, who was watching him through a hole in the wall. He quickly hopped on his poopstick and followed the sensation in his scar to the cemetery.

Voldemort began digging up the dead body of an old lady. He started to do inappropriate stuff to her using his wang. The sight made Harry throw up.

Harry's puke made a big pile, and really smelled.

"I better clean this up!"

Harry pulled out his wang and began to shake it around. But something went wrong and the puke came to life! The puke made a horrible screeching sound, and it grew legs and arms. It started chasing after Harry, who ran into the cemetery, interrupting Voldemort.

"What the hell-" But before he could finish, the puke monster lunged at him.

Suddenly Hermione grabbed Voldemort's wang and began pulling.

"Number one in my search for dead wangs!" She screamed.

"I'm not dead!" He yelled.

"You're not?" Hermione stopped pulling, only to be attacked by the puke monster.

Ron jumped out from behind a tree.

"Haha! My evil puke monster will defeat you Hermione!"

"No! The puke monster is mine!" Harry protested. "…what the hell happened to your wang?"

Everyone stopped and looked at Ron's wang. It was all deflated and saggy.

"My wang!" Ron clutched it. "Engorgio!" He chanted the spell, but nothing happened.

"That's what happens when you have a second-hand wang." Harry told him.

"No!" Ron screamed and began to cry. His tears roll down his face and onto his wang. A magical light surrounded it, returning it back to its original state.

Suddenly, Sonic appeared in a tuxedo with Snape (who was in a wedding dress), in his arms.

"We're getting married!" Sonic announced.

"You may now kiss the bride!" MJ shouted out of the blue, dressed in priests clothing and holding a bible.

Sonic and Snape began passionately kissing. Draco was standing beside Voldemort.

"I always cry at weddings!" he sobbed.

Suddenly, the puke monster (who was eating the dead woman that Voldemort had dug up while we were stalling the story), kidnapped Snape and ran away.

"My love, come back!" Sonic shrieked.

And so, they went after the puke monster, in search of Snape.


	10. Chp 10

Snape had been molested by the puke monster for hours. All the molesting had made the puke monster tired, so he went to go take a power nap. Snape carefully reached up his bum and pulled out his cell phone to call MJ.

*Ring ring*

"Ello? Who's this?"

"Hi! It's me, Snape!"

"Oh hey, sup?"

"Nothing much, you?"

Suddenly the puke monster appeared and said "Get off the phone you whore! I thought you loved me!"

Snape screamed and dropped his phone.

Over the static on the other line of the phone, MJ began masturbating to the moans of Snape and the puke monster.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sonic asked as he walked into the room Michael Jackson was in.

"I'm using my tracking powers to create a map of where the puke monster is keeping Snape." MJ said, still touching himself. Then Harry lept through the window.

"Oh! My eyes!" Harry screamed when he saw what MJ was doing.

"Ah, there we go…" MJ said as a map burst out the end of his wang.

"Harry, bend over and pick it up." MJ said.

"Gross! I'm not touching that!" Harry said.

Suddenly Ron the nudist flew into the room with Hermione on his back.

"Woo! It's a party!" Ron screamed.

"I have AIDS!" Hermione cried.

Ron tripped on something.

"WTF?"

It was Dumblewhore, all tied up (lolbondage). All of a sudden Fawkes flew in and stole the map.

"Oh shit! Kill the bird before he files away!"

MJ's wang went up and turned into a gun. MJ laughed.

"Look, I can kill it with no hands!"

His wang locked on the bird, and then began started shooting white stuff at it. Fawkes dropped dead.

"Nigga down, nigga down!" Ron narrated.

But the map flew away outside. Hermione hopped on Ron's back and they flew after the map.

"Go go Power Rangers!" Harry said. He suddenly turned into a flying pig and began following Ron and Hermione.


	11. Chp 11

The map was flying through the air. It was their only hope to rescue Snape. Ron flew fast and Hermione reached as far as she could. She grabbed it. Harry opened it. It showed that Snape was up MJ's bum and around the corner.

And so they went back to where MJ was, and dissected his ass. MJ didn't mind though, he liked it. Dumblewhore used his wang to shrink Harry, Hermione, and Ron.

They flew on Harry's poopstick through MJ's rectal tubing. On the way they saw a mushroom hut. They stopped and went inside. Lucius, Draco, and Voldemort were inside baking prune pies.

They went in deeper until they reached a huge wooden door. It had a spell on it so that they couldn't open it unless they had the key.

Draco, who had decided to join them, took out his wang. It was the same shape as the lock. He was the chosen one.

Draco humped the door's keyhole 5 times (hard), and let out a moan. The door opened. Inside, Snape was in a frilly pink dress. having tea with the puke monster and dolls.

"Whoa! I love tea parties!" Ron screamed with excitement.

So they all sat down to drink tea.

Hermione found a dildo out of nowhere and started to comfort herself. Meanwhile, outside…MJ was playing with his new toy 'ring' he found on the floor.

All of a sudden, there was a sonic boom. MJ exploded because Harry, Ron, and Draco (not Hermione) grew back to normal size. Everything else that was inside him was lost in his flaming remains and was gone forever. Ron picked up Hermione, who was still the size of ant, but accidentally sneezed and blew her out the window.

Sonic came in the room. He started to cry because his wife Snape died. Harry walked over to Sonic and began kissing to console him. It soon turned into more. This was true love. So Harry and Sonic eloped.

When Harry was gone Ron realized that he loved Draco, and Draco loved him back. They got married and had a happy life with many children. Everyone else died.

**The End**…or is it?


End file.
